Peggy is Furious. Day 5

Well, I’m dreading the final leaders’ debate on Tuesday night. I watched the one the other week on TV 3 and with all the shouting, I couldn’t make out a word they were saying. Peggy says that the four of them should get a right belt across the pus and she’d be the wan to give it to them if they were anywhere near her. If the scholars below in the school carried on like that in the classroom, they’d be war, she says and she’s right. She says they were as ignorant as pigs’ bladders, the whole lot of them, all talking over each other and roaring and bawling like the mob you’d see below in the Singing Donkey Lounge Bar after yet another defeat in the county final.

She watched the debate with me and at one stage, I thought she’d put her size eights through my new 32 inch television. To see her shaking her fist and yelling obscenities at the screen, well! There was only a few minutes of silence and that happened when the Taoiseach looks out at the two of us and wags his finger and says there’s going to be a E25 rise in the Old Age pension. Well, Peggy lets a screech out of her and starts roaring ‘Hup, ya boy ya’ and stamping her feet. I thought she’d bring on some sort of attack on herself because her blood pressure must have soared like a rocket. And to tell the truth, what with the screaming in the studio and Peggy beside me yelling at the screen and stamping her feet and me having to listen to all of them, mine can’t have been too healthy at that point either. Then the next minute she’s screaming and swearing again at Kenny like a woman demented.

‘Jesus, Christ,’ she turns to me, ‘did you hear what that smarmy bastard is just after saying? The fecking raise isn’t going to come to us until 2021, shure, what good is a raise to me in five years’ time?  I could be dead and buried by 2021. And isn’t that what the little shoneen wants – to have the whole lot of us, the plain people of Ireland, six feet under by 2021, so he won’t be obliged to pay us an extra brown penny.’  And back she goes to bawling at Kenny on the television again.

Well, I know one thing for certain, she couldn’t have got a better incentive to live longer -if it’s only to spite Kenny and Burton, that woman is going to live to 2021 and far beyond, come what may, so that she’ll get the extra E25 in her pocket and feck the begrudgers.


PS: Peggy is delighted that the crowd above in RTE are after listening to her and bringing Sharon Ní Bheoláin back into the warmth of the studio. She’s even more delighted that they’re after sending Brian Dobson out. It isn’t that she doesn’t like Dobson but she says he’s a fine strong man with a heavy suit on him that will keep him fine and warm in all weathers. But she can’t understand why Dobson is inside in a room, albeit with glass windows, sitting down on a comfortable armchair and that poor girleen was left standing outside in all sorts of weathers and she shivering like a stray cat in totally unsuitable clothing.


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