Well, the latest here in Sugar Hill village is that Peggy is after having a big stand up-row below at Gilhooley’s Spar with Lourda Kennefick for telling everyone that she only went and spoiled her vote at the general election. Peggy is livid but shure, the woman hasn’t a leg to stand on, I mean, c’mon, anyone that blabs a secret to Lourda Kennefick and is then surprised when the same woman tells the whole country has to be downright stupid. Of course, the peculiar thing is that Peggy is anything but stupid so whatever prompted her to unburden herself to Lourda with regards to her voting strategy is beyond me. We’ve been scratching our heads and trying to figure that one out since the election.
Bridie, another one of our friends, says that she believes it was vanity that caused Peggy’s tongue to loosen. Bridie says that it would have been pure torture for Peggy to see her ballot paper turn up on the news on RTE television and radio and in all the newspapers and not be able to claim her moment of fame. She says that Peggy would be thinking what’s the point of making a statement like that if no one knows that it was her, Peggy Lysaght that did it? And do you know, I think she might have a point there. Peggy always likes to get credit for anything that she does, I’ve noticed that in the decade I’ve been living here in Sugar Hill. Mind you, I’d say the same woman now is fine and sorry though that she didn’t let the whole thing go by without saying a word.
You see, apart from the fact that the whole village knows that Peggy spoiled her vote, the woman is right thick because now she can’t say a word about the politicians of any party, or about the formation of a government or the shenanigans of Michéal Martin and Fianna Fáil playing hard to get and refusing to contemplate going into bed with Fine Gael, or her favourite one, the stupidity of people for forgetting about Fianna Fáil ruining the country and putting them back in a position where they’ll be able to have another shot at bringing us to our knees.
No, not one of us will entertain her when she attempts to start. We tell her, rightly, that anyone who went into the polling booth at a critical period in her country’s history and deliberately blackguarded the democratic process by spoiling her vote and writing Liam Neeson and Daniel O’ Donnell on the ballot paper has no right whatsoever to criticise anything or anyone. She can’t even cut loose on Baldy Biggane, who’s been a right pain in the arse appearing on Prime Time and the 6 One news bleating about the core values of Fianna Fáil. I mean, isn’t that a contradiction in terms – like, core values and Fianna Fáil! That’s really sticking in her craw, I can tell you. I’m expecting her to put her size eight through the television any day now when Baldy is introduced yet again on nationwide television as a ‘senior Fianna Fáil party figure’
As she’s wan right opinionated woman, this enforced silence is only killing her. I can tell you, she’s getting sorrier every day, for not keeping her mouth shut when she met Lourda Kennefick. As for us, that’s Bridie and Marilyn and Dolores, who’ve been listening to her like, forever, we don’t know ourselves and I can tell you that we’re making the most of the peace and quiet because as sure as God made gooseberries, she’ll be back up on her high horse and making inflammatory speeches before we’ve time to say Jack Robinson and bless ourselves.
PS: Ah jeez, I knew it was too good to last. She’s after arriving in here now in full flow. Over what? Only over Gerry Adams, you know, he who was never in the IRA? The woman is only blue in the face she’s so exercised over how he’s after comparing himself to the American Black Civil Rights Activist, Rosa Parks. And do you know, I can’t really blame her. Shure, Adams is only after losing the run of himself altogether. I mean, Gerry Adams and Rosa Parks!! Ah Jesus c’mon, for God’s sake.