Well, no more excuses. The rain has cleared up, it’s blazing sunshine, the bike is sitting there looking at me expectantly. Luigi, the Maltese, has returned my helmet from wherever in the garden he hid it for the last five days and praise the Lord, it’s not chewed totally beyond redemption so…
Mind you, I feel very aggrieved as my cycling companions have all deserted me. Nora has just fecked off in the camper van to Waterford, with the pretty lame excuse that she hasn’t been to Tramore in years ( I mean, Tramore, for God’s sake..)and Eoin is studying for his Junior Cert music exam next week. Between you and me, I’m beginning to worry about Nora’s stamina and commitment, because prior to that she was so busy with exam supervision, that it was too late when she got home to wheel out the bicycle, at least, that’s her story. I think she might not be up for it as she looks very shifty when she’s trotting out these excuses, and refuses to look me straight in the eye. A sure sign, my mother always believed, of someone who was hiding something. Come to think of it, I didn’t see her for a whole twenty four hours after the last cycle.
Still, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt for the moment. Instead, I’ll practise being cunning and crafty for a change and use this solitany spell to get fitter. To steal a march on the two of them, well, Nora anyway, not so sure about Eoin though, he’s got youth on his side. Anyway, if I’m a bit fitter, I won’t be frightening the neighbours into thinking I’m having a heart attack, and making a show of myself in front of the whole road by gasping and spluttering, puce faced, as I come up the hill, looking like I’m fit to be anointed.😡 God knows, in this day and age, what with a comedian leading the Free World and the prospect of the DUP allied to the Tories, not to mention Brexit, hard or soft, people have enough on their plates to be worrying about besides the state of my health.
Jeez, the thought just struck me. Am I being completely irresponsible altogether going off on my own? What do you think? Shure, if I collapsed off the bike, I could be stuck in a ditch somewhere between Greenane and Allensbridge until Nora and the camper come back from Tramore and Eoin’s music isn’t on till next Friday. Jesus, I could be dead from my injuries and extreme malnutrition by the time all that happens.😟
Maybe I should think again. I suppose I could always alert Josephineto keep a look out her window, just in case, like. Better be safe than sorry, all the same.
Jesus, I’d just so hate to be stuck in a ditch for the weekend and then be the talk of the parish for the rest of the summer. Well, wouldn’t you? I mean, like, the ignominy of it….
Image courtesy of Stock Photos.