Most people’s thoughts are turning to Christmas and Santa and Molly (3) and Alice (2) are no exception. They’ve already written their letter so they won’t be at the bottom of the list when it comes to presents. But I fear there may be a problem. I asked them what they asked Santa for:

Molly: I asked Santy for a bike, Nana.

Me: Oh, a tricycle, that’ll be lovely.

Molly: (scandalised and highly insulted) NO, Nana, I’m not a baby. Tricycles are for babies. I’m getting a bike with TWO wheels AND pedals. Bicycles with no pedals are for small children, the children a bit bigger than babies.

Me: (somewhat bemused by all these categories of children) Oh right. Like Alice, you mean?

Alice: (Highly insulted) I’m NOT a baby, Nana, I’m a big girl.

Molly: But not as big as me, Alice. I’m going to school and I don’t wear a nappy.

Alice: I’m big, like you, Molly…

Me:(quick interuption from me as I can see a sudden deterioration in cordiality here) And what did you ask Santy for, Alice?

Alice (successfully distracted by my cunning move) I getting a motor bike from Santy, I…

Molly (pityingly) You can’t get a motor bike from Santy, Alice. Motor bikes are for grown up people. Maybe you can get a bike with pedals, like me.

Alice (stubbornly) I not want pedals, Molly, I getting a MOTOR bike and I go fast.

Molly: A motor bike is too big to come down the chimney, it will get all stuck and…

Alice: I getting a motor bike, Molly, not get stuck in chimney…

I withdraw for a cuppa to the kitchen and wonder who’s going to be brave enough to explain the difference between Santy and Andrew Hourigan to Alice?